The Second Coming of Craig: Jonny Craig's Return To Dance Gavin Dance.

Dance Gavin Dance have been going through a lot of member changes for years now. After their first full-length "Downtown Battle Mountain," scene singing sensation Jonny Craig left the band and joined Emarosa. He was replaced by Kurt Travis, who took a while to get used to, but ended up being an amazing replacement. After about 3 years and 2 albums that blew their old material out of the water, it seemed like Travis was here to stay. Then, on Wednesday, I heard the most shocking news in Dance Gavin Dance history...that Travis was no longer in the band and Jonny Craig would be returning as the lead vocalist. I still haven't decided whether to be angry or excited about the news.

First off, I do enjoy Craig's voice more than Travis', so that really isn't the issue. The problems I have is that DGD have progressed immensely since Craig's departure and that Craig is a douche. The two albums that Travis sang on were better in almost every aspect. Now, with Craig and screamer Jon Mess returning, their lineup is nearly the same as on Downtown Battle Mountain, and even before this lineup change there were rumors that the new album would essentially be "Downtown Battle Mountain 2." And today I saw this tweet by Jonny Craig himself:

"Dear world :) I am once again apart of dance Gavin dance #DBM2. I did not quit emarosa. Both will be full time and full dedication. TALKSHIT"

Now let's breakdown everything wrong with this tweet.

1. If you haven't caught on yet, DBM2 = Downtown Battle Mountain 2. Jonny Craig is basically confirming that the new album will be just like Downtown Battle Mountain. This is a huge step backwards for the band and I hope it is some kind of sick joke.

2. He is still in Emarosa. This is a major problem. I don't know if he is conceited enough to think he can balance writing, recording, and touring with two bands full-time, but if there is anyone that would think they can do it, it would be the pompous sir Jonny Craig. Just because your initials are JC doesn't mean you are some kind of superhuman. Eventually Craig is going to have to quit Emarosa or DGD is going to have to find another new singer.

3. He is just a straight up douche, which becomes evident when you read his other tweets. Example:

"I am the lead singer for EMAROSA and DANCE GAVIN DANCE. Don't like it? Drink and drive :)"

Now I will pray to the lord JC. Please don't let DGD take a step backward with their music. They have made it through drastic member changes before, so give them the strength to do it one more time. Don't let their music be set back 3 years by this douche:

Live Coverage: Coheed and Cambria, Porcupine Tree, and The Dear Hunter at The Sunshine Theater

I've been dying to see Coheed since that other fuckface Tynan has got to see them a billion times, so when I heard Coheed was heading towards Albuquerque with Porcupine Tree AND The Dear Hunter, I was more down for this concert than a Bro getting offered to visit a basketball shorts factory.

The Dear Hunter began their set at 7:30, bringing their hardest and heaviest songs, trying to stay relevant to a crowd purely there for Coheed, and The Dear Hunter strutted their stuff, that's for sure. They sounded great, as they always have to me, the only problem was, they felt terribly tacked on to the band listing, they played for 25 minutes tops, and never really got the crowd on their side. The one thing I will give Coheed fans though is that they can sure be a bit more accepting of interesting vocalists after having Claudio rape their socially-inept-weird-kid ears for so long, so they definitely seem phased by Casey Crescenzo's high, screamy, creamy voice! Overall, they sounded great, didn't get to play long, and made my heart sink when I didn't get to hear Red Hands :,(

Porcupine tree took stage after a HALF HOUR SET UP. Good fucking lord, you would have thought they were unloading a Neil Peart drum kit or getting the giant mechanical Eddy out and ready, but they weren't. They just took a super long time. They did have a video slideshow that accompanied most of their songs, and before I get into how they sounded, let me say that the video asthetic altered between wannabe Tool music videos, the visualizations on windows media player, and a slide show of a high-school metalhead's "Cool/Random stuff" they saved off of google images. I think you are starting to see where I'm going. I was hardly a Porcupine Tree fan, only skimming through In Absentia, and I was hardly impressed by seeing them live. It felt like a lot of the songs were Tool songs. Call me ignorant, arrogant, or a fuckface, but that's what the sounded like to me. When they weren't sounding like Tool, they were kinda sounding like Dream Theater, it was slightly aggonizing considering that they played for an hour and a half. To be honest, they were one of my more least liked bands I've seen live. :,(

Finally fucking Coheed and Cambria started, and they begun with a bang, kicking shit off with "In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3", I had been told it was awesome live, but holy fuck. The song was the perfect opener, with the sweet badass roll of waves playing behind Claudio on the projector screen. MY NIPPLES WERE ROCK HARD. That was definitely one of my more favorite concert moments, thanks Coheed. They really did sound awesome live, Claudio sounded great and played solos in the usual boner-inspiring fashion. They mixed classic Coheed songs with some cool new ones, one of my favorites off the new album, "Pearl Of The Stars" was a highlight with it's quieter, darker mood and more acoustic feel. I'd say about a third of their show was new songs, most of them sounding pretty good, with just a small amount of polish needed for them to sound perfect live. For the encore Claudio came out alone to play "Wake Up" alone with the crowd which was very nice. They ended with an old stand-by, "Welcome Home" which was a bit of a surprise, but in the end it was a lot of fun for the crowd, and ended the concert on a high note. Coheed is definitely worth sitting through an hour and a half of Pork-u-fuck Pee. :)

The Dear Hunter Set List (not perfect):
In Cauda Venemum
The Church and The Dime
Mustard Gas
He Said He Had A Story
The Procession

Coheed and Cambria Set List (almost perfect, and in perfect order):
In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3
Ten Speed (Of God's Blood & Burial)
Here We Are Juggernaut
The Crowning
The Suffering
Pearl Of The Stars
Everything Evil
When Skeletons Live
Guns of Summer
Delirium Trigger
No World For Tomorrow
Encore:
Wake Up
This Shattered Symphony
Welcome Home

Vocalist Changes...Lots of 'em

Lately I've been noticing a whole lot of bands that are changing vocalists. I imagine that kicking out a frontman can be a risky decision, but bands seem to do it anyway. Dance Gavin Dance managed to part ways with scene superstar Jonny Craig and actually get better in the process. They found a decent replacement and made up for it with just flat out better songwriting. Even Attack Attack! got a little bit better after Austin Carlile left to focus on his new band Of Mice & Men (which he was later kicked out of). So here are a few bands that have recently changed or lost a vocalist and what I predict will happen to them.

Chiodos

When anyone hears Chiodos for the first time it is hard to ignore the unique voice of Craig Owens. I'm not saying his voice is always good, but it is unique. Craig was always the poster-boy for Chiodos and, more importantly, the only thing that really made them stand out above other bands in the genre. As someone that has always had mixed feelings about Craig's voice, I still have to say kicking him out was a bad decision, musically and financially. Regardless of whether their new vocalist Brandon Bolmer is any good or not, I highly doubt he will have close to the amount of originality Craig has and I am certain that he will have significantly less little "scene tween" fans that WORSHIP him. Chiodos' new record Illuminaudio drops October 5. Expect a mediocre, forgettable post-hardcore record.


DRAGONFORCE!!!

I apologize for the caps and exclamation marks, but it is nearly impossible to type DRAGONFORCE!!! without doing it. So if you listen to Dforce (loophole) for more than a couple weeks then you probably think you're really cool. Well, you are. I just wanted to let you know that. Anyway, Dforce features some of the most ridiculous musicians playing some of the most ridiculous music as ridiculously high speeds. And over all that is ridiculously retarded ZP Theart with ridiculously overused and cheesy lyrics. I'm not saying Dforce is a great band, but the members are pretty talented, minus Theart (and probably the drummer too. but he is really good at that one beat!). In March of this year Dforce announced that they were parting with Theart due to "insurmountable differences of musical opinion." Maybe they were tired of him writing the same vocal melody with the same lyrics or something, but for some reason it took them 4 albums to realize it. The band is currently holding open auditions in the worldwide search to find a new vocalist, but I'm sure that whoever they find won't make much of a difference in their sound at all (PESSIMIST ALERT!). Honestly DRAGONFORCE!!(dropped one exclamation point, Progress!), if you want me to listen to your new album then pick up Austin Carlile before he's gone (though they would sound like a flamboyant Children Of Bodom if they had a screamer). And don't worry, you can kick him out after you release one album with him.

Check out this epic Dforce audition:



Saosin

Saosin started off epic with their first EP "Translating The Name." They showed promise with their solid songwriting and Anthony Green's amazing vocals. Then Anthony parted with them and Cove Reber joined the band (seriously, what the fuck is up with his name?). They released the "Saosin EP" which was still solid and gave hope for all who thought they would sink without Green. Then their debut MAJOR LABEL album came out, which was a great deal worse than previous efforts, but was still solid (yes, solid. that seems to be the only word I can use to describe Saosin's earlier work). After that they started sucking balls. End of story. Saosin was dead to me and I hope they were dead to most other people too. BUT WAIT! Just as everyone was under the impression that Saosin would be dead forever, they were resurrected by one of the most promising press releases this world has ever seen. It went a little something like this: "COVE IS KICKED OUT. WE HAVE NO RECORD LABEL. NOW WE CAN WRITE MUSIC THAT WE WANT TO INSTEAD OF BEING corporate robots (I would have put that part in caps but everything else was in caps so i put it in lowercase, see what i did thar?). So as long as Saosin can find a decent vocalist then I could see them releasing an album WAY better then the 2 they released with Cove. Or they could pick up Austin Carlile. But don't worry Saosin, you can kick him out after you release one album with him.

The Human Abstract

The Human Abstract released a very good album in 2006. Then, in 2008, the band tried to write alt-rock, vocalist Nathan Ells farted in a microphone, and for some reason they threw a lot of sweep picking over it. Needless to say (I never got that saying. If it's needless to say then I'm not going to say it). After listening to both of their albums, it was obvious that Ells was the weakest link. In November of last year my prayers were answered by the metal gods and Ells was hit by a truck and killed (JK alert! They actually just kicked him out of the band, but I can dream...). And this amazing news was surprisingly accompanied by better news. Guitarist A.J. Minette (who left after their first album) would make his return. THA have recently finished recording and mixing the album and I am 100% sure that it will be better than Midheaven. Hopefully THA will be back for good. And oh yeah, they already have a new vocalist named Travis Richter, so no Austin Carlile joke (lol, he is a joke!).


And to end this article, I leave you with an inspirational photo of Craig Owens. Love, Tynan

The Hurley Record...Joke, Genius, or Jackassery?

For all their recent stupidity, Weezer still holds a special place in my black, dead, angry, brutal heart. Maybe it's remnants of The Blue Album leaving its ring of residue, changing how I looked at "indie rock" forever. Maybe it's the pop-shit stains from songs like "Island in The Sun" and "Hash Pipe" off of The Green Album. It could be the funny-faggotry of songs like "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived". Or it could just be "El Scorcho", who knows? Either way, I've come this far, cataloging each Weezer release, cringing more and more, with a big ironic hipster grin after each release, and now, after fucking Raditude, we get the next big stupid fucking thing from Weezer; HURLEY.

This is why I still get Weezer albums, to see how hard Weezer will try to prove that they don't care anymore. For those of you who don't know, Weezers new album set to drop this year titled Hurley features an album cover just with Jorge Garcia's face, who played Hugo "Hurley" Reyes for several years on the EPIC TV show, LOST. That's it, no title, no font, just a big, goofy fucking picture of the loveable fat fuck from Lost. Turns out folks, this wasn't the first possible title, according to Cuomo, "Heavy Mental" and "Smaller Than Life" were the other possible gems he thought up before settling on Hurley.

"I just loved this photo of Jorge Garcia -- it just had this amazing vibe. We didn't want to do a fourth self-titled record and we knew people would refer to it as 'the Hurley record' even if we left it without that title, so we just called it 'Hurley.' No words are on the cover because all we wanted was his amazing face." Says comedic genius/frontman Rivers Cuomo. I love that shit, "Amazing Vibe", it's just a weird, off-set photo cropped from when he met Jorge Garcia, holy fuck. The best part of this debacle of an album is that Rivers Cuomo doesn't even watch Lost, he didn't start until meeting Jorge Garcia recently, and is only on season two.

With song titles like "Where's My Sex?" and "Unspoken" I can only hope for another exercise in comedy like Raditude, and I will still sit along, with my headphones pressed to my ears, lapping up whatever Weezer gives me drink, as I'm sure it will either be the joke, the genius, or the asshole "fuck-you-listeners!" I've come to expect and strangely love from Weezer. Hurley drops September 14th, a few days before my birthday, thank the lord. - Matt Galey

New Adebisi Shank Song

Adebisi Shank have posted the second song from their new album "This is the Second Album of a band called Adebisi Shank" entitled "Genki Shank." The song can be downloaded and streamed HERE if you post an automated tweet linking the page. Alternatively you can download the song HERE or watch the youtube video below.



Holy shit. This song blew me away. I'm diggin the barracuda vibe too. Their first album was amazing, but this is shaping up to be even better. Also make sure to support the band by pre-ordering the new album HERE.

Also check out their other new song "International Dreambeat."
Adebisi Shank - International Dreambeat by Nialler9