Saturday, November 13, 2010

Mini Reviews: November 2010 (Kanye, Cee-Lo, Cudi)

Doesn't surprise all.

I wanted to cover some of the big releases this month, so here's some mini-reviews. Read em' and leave me hate comments, and maybe I'll hum on yo dick. :3

Kanye West- My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Believe me...Kanye knows he's an asshole.

"Let's have a toast for all the douche bags..."

He knows it, and the thing that has made me grow to love Kanye West is that HE DON'T GIVE A MOTHAFUCK. There's nothing better than a man that's all talk and actually lives up to it. My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is easily the biggest statement a man like Kanye can make (yes, even bigger than saying he's the voice of this generation) because it shows that he's so fucking talented he can eat diamonds and shit gold encrusted diamonds.

Everything about Twisted Fantasy screams amazing, from the rediculous guest spots (Elton John, Rick Ross, Kid Cudi, Chris Rock, and mo) that actually work amazingly well, to the fantastic song structure and production values, all the way to the brutally interesting album cover, this album is what mainstream Hip-Hop should be. Kanye's rhymes are clever, thought provoking, honest, and vicious, he brings it on EVERY song. I think I knew this album would be genius about 30 seconds into the opening track when I heard a choir rise into the song and ask "Can we get much higher?" in a glorious roar not unlike the one Kanye's penis must make when he has an orgasm inside a woman's anus, vagina, and mouth, all at once.

I really can't explain how interesting the feel for this album is (let's try eh?), it's a grandiose monster, full of lush beat structures, pianos, orchestral instruments, horns, Bon Iver wailing in auto-tune glory...but at the same time it's full of songs that could easily be radio hits, even though I bet the amount of fuck, pussy, and dicks on each song will probably make it harder to butcher than Cee-Lo's "Fuck You" (more on that later). Monster, All Of The Lights, Hell of A Life, all tracks that I wish I would hear on the pop radio stations, because they teach what the fuck is wrong with mainstream pop and hip-hop today.

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is definitely a window into just how egotistical and talented Kanye West is. There's no denying that this is one of the best albums this year, but if you do deny it, Kanye West doesn't give a shit. That's just how that nigga rolls.


If you would have come to me a month ago and told me that the new Kanye West album would be the best album released this year I would have called you a fool. Why? Because Kanye is obviously a giant douche, or at least that's what I'm told. To tell you the truth I've never listened to much of Kanye's music before, but never really went out of my way to do so because of how he's portrayed in the media. Why would I want to give this dick any of my time or money? Now I feel like the giant dick. I now love Kanye West, almost as much as Kanye West loves Kanye West. My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is everything a mainstream hip-hop album should be. Catchy beats, great rhymes, amazing sampling, an abundance of well-placed guest stars, it's all there and done extremely well. Kanye is in a tier of his own when it comes to mainstream hip-hop and this album is a definite classic. -Tynan Evans
Rating: 9.5/10

Cee-Lo Green - The Lady Killer

Did you like Gnarls Barkley? Good. Did you think that was the lead singers name? Then really, go eat a poop, because I'm the king of smartassery, and I say so.

Either way, Cee-Lo Green is the voice behind Gnarls Barkley, and he definitely brought the defining factor to Danger Mouse's lovely production. When it was announced that the duo would part ways, many pondered weather or not Cee-Lo would fare well on his own. The good news is that he definitely has, the bad news is that you're definitely gonna be annoyed if you download The Lady Killer thinking it will be like St.Elsewhere.

The Lady Killer is an album that definitely is a homage to the soul-R&B-funk-pop from The Temptations, Al Greene, The Four Tops, Marvin Gaye and the like, and while it may not be classic music like the aformentioned, it's definitely refreshing to see the sound not die but resurface thanks to Cee-Lo Green. I was really expecting an album that, besides, Fuck You, would be forgettable, and while some songs aren't truly big hits, they all have their own taste and talent in them. This album is light, fun, and definitely not for everyone, but if you appreciate that old school sound, this is a great only complaint is that Cee-Lo opted for the less interesting mix of "No One's Gonna Love You" (A sweet Band of Horses cover, either way).

The Lady Killer is a nice sound off to the music industry that Cee-Lo Green can separate and flourish, all while bringing the nostalgia ten-fold.

Kid Cudi - Man On The Moon Two: The Legend Of Mr.Rager

Can you blame Kid Cudi if he didn't put out another smash hit album like his debut? The truth is that while I want to sooooo bad, I just can't, because this album is great in different ways.

MOTM2 is definitely a grower, that's straight up talk. First time I heard it, I thought that it was a bloated mess, one with far too few listenable songs, and far too many emotionally distressed whining from our Cudder buddy. That criticism applies still, just in a less harsh dosage. MOTM2 clocks in at over an hour, with 17 songs, and more than half of these being nothing like the jamming fun of "Make Her Say" or "Enter Galactic". The songs on MOTM2 resemble more of a somber, dreamy, and dark mood heard in "Solo Dolo" or "My World". Also, Cudi definitely shows his bigger interest in singing compared to the rhyming, as a good portion of the album is spent with him singing slowly in a "Pursuit of Happiness" style.

So, with all that against it, what in my shit eating mind makes me like this album?

Plenty. First, while the mood is darker and more dreamy, it very what the kids call "chill", and while I hate thinking of music in this way, it's definitely a great album to get stoned to. Relaxation is something the Cudder executes well, without needing Ratatat after all. Some songs are skippable, others are absolutely engrossing, like the wailingly cool "Don't Play This Song" featuring surprisingly lovely vocals from Mary J. Blige, or the beautiful beat structure and rolling badassery from Cudi on "Mojo So Dope". The big sore thumb on the album "Erase Me" is the biggest grower for me, going from a total piece of shitty shit shit to a mildly enjoyable track. Cudi bringing back the 80's on the chorus and the moody girl-chasing lyrics somehow works on a level that scares me, because I like it.

Man On The Moon 2 feels like when you walk around in a head cold (or stoned LOL 420 every day, BLAZE IT!), you're in a fog, everything feels weighty, but you don't really give a shit, because you're drowsy and dizzy. This album works on a different level compared to old Kid Cudi, it isn't easily listenable, it's meant for fans of hip-hop, music, and Cudi's way of doing things.

Man On The Moon 2: The Legend Of Mr.Rager is definitely an album that will leave people more split than Ke$ha's legs on any given night of the week...either way it seems I'm a fan of the new album...after many listens and a new found pleasure for relaxingly cool "stoner" music. Fuuuuuuck, just typing the word stoner makes my penis invert a little bit.

Strange, three albums from 3 interconnected artists in one month: Cee-Lo is on Cudi's new album, who is on Kanye's new album, who is also on Cudi's new album. It's like the six degrees of nigga bacon up in this trick! (relax, I'm black, I can say that) So, dislike my reviews? Think I'm a fuck-tard? Want nude pics? Leave comments plz!
-Matt Galey


  1. It's not fair to compare Cudi and Cee-Lo's new albums to the majesty that is My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. It's almost as good as I Get Wet. Almost.

  2. nah man. kanye just raised the bar for everyone, even if their albums came out first.